"If you're wondering why the president is in a good mood, it's because he's glad to be finished with his annual physical. During his colonoscopy doctors removed two benign polyps and the White House Press Corps."
"Michelle Obama is also here tonight. The first lady just taped an episode of 'Sesame Street' but walked off the set after seeing a segment featuring the Count holding photos of Barack's cabinet members and saying, 'Two … two tax cheats. Ah Ah Ah. Three … three tax cheats. Ah Ah Ah …'"